Sorry for disappearing again and worrying some of you. I’m just really tired and can’t get up the gumption to even attempt to explain what’s been happening. But I’ll try (sorry in advance if I sound like I’m whining … it’s just the tiredness speaking).
Just to refresh your memory, I’d made payment arrangements on a ticket that came from forgetting to change my address when I moved so the renewal notice never arrived for my driver’s license and I got ticketed severely for driving without a license (gosh, talk about feeling like an idiot … geez).
Anyway, evidently I was a couple of days late with the payment several months ago, and that’s what caused the garnishment of my bank accounts last month. Turns out they also suspended my driver’s license at the same time, so we’ve been essentially without a car ever since.
They won’t let me work out new payment arrangements and reinstate my license until the money the bank took from my accounts actually works its way to the account of the creditor dealing with the payments. I would’ve thought that would be a relatively quick process, but it turns out it can take about six weeks for the money to finally work its way to where it needs to be. In the meantime, I can do absolutely nothing to expedite the situation (short of paying the entire thing in full, that is, which I can’t do — unless we’re willing to go without food, lights, heat and a place to live!).
So I’m still waiting for the money to get to the creditor and then I get to talk with them about new payment arrangements. It’ll take at least a week (probably more like two) for my license to be reinstated even after everything’s worked out with the creditors. The wheels of this whole thing turn so very slowly. :::sigh::: So I’ll probably be without the ability to drive for at least another month … and that timeline is only valid providing all goes well. So it could be even longer.
While I’m thankful that I have access to a good city bus system, it’s still really frustrating to not have access to my own transportation. Even simple things like going to the store for milk and eggs can turn into a couple of hours event.
There are aspects of my job at church that I’m having trouble doing because of my lack of transportation. The bus doesn’t go everywhere I need to be, plus the whole process just eats so much time out of my day spending time waiting around at bus stops and sitting at transfer stations when I need to be places and doing things NOW all over town. It’s really frustrating.
Plus a number of people (family, friends, co-workers, etc.) have started getting upset with me because I’m having trouble meeting commitments and getting places with no vehicle. For example, there’s no way I can get to Olympia anymore to visit or help with family commitments down there.
Anyway, I’m mainly just tired. And I feel so drained and exhausted. And frustrated.
Hopefully I’ll be able to work out payment arrangments soon and start the wheels turning toward getting my license back. But it’s such a slow process, and like I said previously, there’s absolutely nothing I can do to expedite it. That’s probably where a lot of the tiredness and frustration’s coming from — just the knowledge that there’s nothing I can do to fix it except wait. And the wait is frustrating and effecting so many areas of my life.
For example, my kids want to take a weekend and go to a friend’s island cabin (we haven’t had any sort of vacation or time away in well over a year), but we can’t go to the island because I can’t drive there and there’s no other way to get there. I’d even just be happy being able to spend a day at the beach with my kids, but we can’t go there either.
I’ve probably never felt more in need of a vacation than I do right now, but the prospects are slim for anything at all this year (from both financial reasons and just the logistics of getting somewhere without driving).
At least the weather’s nice this week. Seeing sunshine always brightens my day.
And on a whole ‘nother front, things are going very badly with my husband’s situation. He’s making some life choices that are causing untold grief for the kids and I. Suffice it to say, I now have Biblical grounds for officially ending our marriage. I know it’s the loss of his moral compass due to his degenerative brain disorder that’s caused him to act in ways that he normally wouldn’t have, so the whole situation is confusing and heartbreaking on so many levels. My kids have all told me they want me to divorce their dad (they have a number of reasons for feeling that way, some legal and financial, as well as emotional and Biblical).
I had to stop typing for a minute just now because he called and cancelled plans with his kids so he can go to Vancouver, Canada for the weekend with his new “friend.” This cancelling plans with his kids to spend time with his friend is sort of a long time situation that’s been happening for about two years. It’s getting very old. And I can’t confront him about it or talk to him about how he’s hurting and disappointing his kids because then I risk sending him into one of his rages which puts all of us in actual danger.
This whole situation just breaks my heart — in ways I never even knew a heart could be broken. As I said, I’m so tired. I think I could use a good month-long nap. lol
Continued prayers appreciated. Especially for finances, my job situation, and for our on-going crazy family situation.