I said in an earlier post that I’d say something about “happiness vs. joy.” Sorry I didn’t get to it sooner. Life, you know.
I’ve heard somewhere that the word “happiness” was derived from the same root as the word “happening” … so I guess if you follow that line of reasoning, then happiness is probably based upon what’s happening. Happy things happen … and then you’re happy.
But joy is something else entirely.
And then if you’re talking about the “joy of the Lord,” then it isn’t only something different, it’s an entirely separate realm of experience. Joy is one of the fruit of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit’s ability to grow fruit in our lives isn’t dependent on happy circumstances (actually, I find it often quite the opposite).
Anyway, this “happiness vs. joy” conversation is sort of a touchy subject for me lately. I had someone in the past year or so question whether or not I was really a Christian (this was someone I’d only recently met so he didn’t have the perspective of seeing my life in anything but the context of the difficulties we were in at the time).
His reasoning went something like this:
“Joy is a fruit of the Spirit … so anyone who has the Holy Spirit within them will have joy because the fruit will just naturally grow. Since I don’t see joy in your life, you must not have the Holy Spirit. So you can’t be a Christian if you don’t have the Holy Spirit.” (To put it in context, this statement was made to me shortly after my husband’s diagnosis and while we were still dealing with my husband’s uncontrolled rages and frightening behaviors in our home … can you say, “Stressed out!”?)
Fortunately, I realized at the time that this person was confusing “joy” with “happiness.” It’s true that I wasn’t particularly happy at that moment in time in my life. But I did have joy. Joy to know that somehow, someway, somewhere God would work all this horrible stuff I was living with for good. Joy to know that even if life continued on just as badly as it was right then for the rest of my earthly life, this life isn’t the “end” of the story. I was living with that saying, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future,” running continually through my head.
The Bible says that for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross. I don’t think Jesus was necessarily “happy” while He was tortured and endured a painful, cruel death. But did Jesus have joy in the midst of it all? Oh, I’m sure He did … joy to know that His sacrifice would work the Ultimate Good in humankind (allowing all of us an opportunity to find forgiveness and peace with God). Joy to know that this life isn’t all there is. Joy to have accomplished what He’d been sent to do.
When I told a pastor friend of mine what was said to me about how I probably wasn’t a Christian because I didn’t have “joy” in my life in the midst of the trials I was facing, my pastor friend said, “Oh my gosh, Debi! That person doesn’t know you AT ALL! The joy of the Lord IS your strength! Your faith and the joy that brings you is the main reason you’ve gotten through all of this as well as you have! That man is confusing happiness with joy. And they’re not the same things at all.”
Exactly. It was really nice to have someone who knows me well, offer some sane perspective in the midst of that crazy time.
So. Happiness vs. joy. I like to be happy (who doesn’t?), but I’d rather have joy any day. Joy lasts even in the midst of the trials of life. Joy isn’t dependent on circumstances. Joy is strength. Joy is internal. Joy is eternal.
Even though my heart is breaking … even though I’ve lost my hopes and dreams and plans and material things … I can (and do!) still have joy. There might not always be a smile on my face, but on a deeper, soul-stirring level, there’s joy in my heart; joy in my spirit.
Not the happiness of happenings.
The joy of the Lord.
From your writing, I see you to be a very true, very strong Christian. You have the very strong unwaivering belief, that shows the joy in your heart.
As you say, I am sure Jesus was not happy during his final tormented hours, but he maintained the love of God and joy in his heart.
The struggles with daily life and you certainly have more than your share, can cause us to be unhappy. This in not way reflects on the joy in our hearts.
You are in my heart thoughts and prayers.
Bill
I praise God for your testimony and your witness.
His blessings this day.
Debi,
You are lucky to know yourself and your heart so well. Others often make thoughtless comments I think because of their own insecurities. And I agree, I would take joy any day over happiness.
WC
Mom, I really like this post.
-Kelsey
It annoys me to see that there are some people who are quick to give assumptions or judgments about certain things or people they know nothing about. Perhaps, as writerchick said, it is to hide their insecurities, or maybe it’s to show off “wisdom” they don’t really have, either way, I commend you for being able to move past what was said about you. If it were me, I probably would have obsessed about it for days. :p Cheerio!
this was really well put, hon! the prophet habbakuk had joy in the midst of famine and drought. the apostle paul said he knew how to abound and knew how to be abased. it was the joy of the Lord.
joy is really like a fountain in the midst of ones soul. like a spring that continues, no matter how one may feel emotionally.
you really put it very well.
kïrstin
I like your blog, and your style. You have such a good attitude. In real life, we could be quick friends.
Consider yourself in good company because Jesus was accused of being ‘possessed’, consorting with sinners and breaking Sabbath laws.
Psalm 23:4 tells us we will walk through the valley of the shadow of death (but we are to fear no evil because He is with us).
You know the valley of the shadow of death but your accuser has yet to ‘go through the deep trouble’ but they will and they will be humbled in rememberance of their foolish talk to you.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I think I’m coming to understand that it’s definitely possible to learn things from watching other people’s lives, but there’s a whole ‘nother level of depth, understanding, wisdom and insight that comes from being the person actually living through something.
I remember praying a long time ago for wisdom. Oh my. What was I thinking? I guess I forgot what that path sometimes looks like. But would I go back to not knowing the lessons I’ve learned — even though they’re difficult and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy? No way.
God will never leave me nor foresake me … and He’ll never let awful things happen without somehow, some way, working it together for good ultimately. Maybe I’ll never even know the ultimate good that will come from these things I’m experiencing with my husband’s illness, but I know it’s true that He won’t waste a single tear. (Can’t wait to see that bottle He’s storing my tears in! Another Great Lake, perhaps!)
~Debi
Hello, Debi.
Thanks for stumbling upon my blog, for I would not have found out about yours. It is interesting that we wrote about the same topic. While my post was more philosophical in its approach, you put it into a more practical perspective. Great!
I want to encourage you about the person who doubted your Christianity. Maybe the purpose of his words was for God to remind you or to bring into your working consciousness that his joy is with you, despite all the challenging things that are going on. Anyway, the true judge of who is a Christian is God himself, so his thoughts are the only ones that ultimately matter.
I’d like to link to your blog. I hope this is ok.
Thanks for this post! I’m speaking on joy vs. happiness tonight at a college meeting for Campus Crusade for Christ and I wasn’t sure what to say…your post was such a great help!
hi… this is really a great post… actually most of the time i asked also myself, the difference between happiness and joy.. according to Mr.Webster
Joy-is a feeling of great happiness or pleasure, especially of an elevated or spiritual kind.
Happiness- a feeling of pleasure, showing contentment or joy.Thanks for enlightening my mind, that joy is more everlasting than happiness…
Godbless