It’s been almost two years? Wow.

I had a revelation the other day.  No, it wasn’t some sort of spiritual revelation or anything like that.

It was simply that I realized that this coming January (2008) will mark two full years since my husband’s disability made him unable to live safely with the rest of his family (myself and our three children).

Where has the time gone?

Have I really been essentially a single mom for nearly two years?  Amazing. 

Have we really been supporting two completely seperate households on a limited income for that long?  Wow.  That’s nearly miraculous in and of itself.

The first year after he moved out was full of things like selling our house in Olympia, buying the mobile home here in Auburn, packing, moving, settling into a new community, etc, etc.  Busy, busy, busy.  Stressful, stressful, stressful!

The second year hasn’t had quite as many major changes (although it’s still had a few, like changing churches again).  But this last year has been more of a settling in process and just generally trying to get our feet back on firm ground.

You know how “they” say that you shouldn’t make any major life decisions until about a year after a major loss?  Well, we lost so much in our lives two years ago … my husband’s health, our future, our missionary plans, our family situation, our church, our community, our income, our home, our neighbors.

Gosh, the list just goes on and on.

But here we are, just about a year from the end of all the upheaval, all the changes, all the losses, and guess what?  I think we’re all starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

All though each of us (me and the kids) are still feeling the effects of all the losses and changes and griefs, we’re also noticing that we’re all feeling better.  Quite a bit better.  More able to feel like life might actually have a future that involves more than just reeling around in pain and grief.

I met with a local pastor a couple of weeks ago, and one thing he’d asked me is where we all were in the process of healing — if we felt like we were still immobilized or if we felt like we were ready to dive back into church involvment and life’s demands.  I surprised myself when I realized the answer was, “We’re somewhere in the middle now.”

I was asked the same question a year ago, and the answer then was definitely, “We’re still healing.  We can’t do anything right now except recuperate and heal.”

The pastor I talked with the other day said, “So you’re still in need of TLC, but you’re also feeling ready to do a bit again?”

Yep.  He nailed it.  It might not sound like much, but just the fact that I no longer feel like I’m so needy that I have nothing left to give to my friends, my church, or my community, is a huge thing.  HUGE!

I still know that my focus needs to be on my family.

But I feel like I can actually look around a bit and do things like invite the neighborhood kids to Sunday school or visit with a neighbor or take a meal to a sick friend.

People have been asking for an update on my husband’s condition.  I’ll write some more about that in the next day or two.  Gotta run and do a few things offline right now.

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Update: Click here for sort of a disjointed, rambling description of where things stand with my husband’s situation.