Wow, I just realized that my last post on this blog was back on April 24th. No wonder I keep getting email from people who are worried about me. I fell off the face of the Blogsphere, didn’t I?
I have a whopper of a headache today so I’m going to keep this pretty short.
1) I have my Driver’s License back again! After nearly two months without it, I almost feel like I’m 16 again with my first license. The freedom is wonderful! Now, don’t get me wrong … I love public transit and truly appreciate rides from friends … but wow … to be able to run out to the store for something quick and easy is practically heaven for me now! 
2) Last week, I attended a three day conference in Boise, Idaho (Presbyterians for Renewal Small Church Conference). Other than having my hairspray and toothpaste confiscated by airport security (they were both slightly too big), traveling was uneventful (I absolutely hate flying, so uneventful travel is a very good thing!). The conference itself was fabulous. I’m still processing so much of what I heard and learned … just trying to prayerfully discern how to apply the concepts to our church in Auburn. Mark Labberton (author of The Dangerous Act of Worship and pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Berkley, CA) was the featured speaker. His thoughts on what it means to be missional in today’s cultural context were powerful, inspirational and thought-provoking. Still thinking, here. Probably will be for quite some time.
3) I don’t even know what to say about how things stand with my husband. He’s physically/mentally doing much better than expected, but his current lifestyle and moral choices are leaving a wake of devastation in our family. It’s so heart-breaking to see this awful disease take him from us in so many ways. He’s become a completely different person with a totally different set of values and priorities. Unfortunately, the kids and I seem to have slipped off his radar as anything of value to him anymore. It’s all so sad. He’s essentially left us physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and moved on with another life altogether. Sometimes I’m just almost in shock when I look at my life and see where it’s come the past few years. I NEVER would’ve thought ten years ago I’d be essentially a single mom and he’d be living the life of a free-and-easy single man complete with a nearly live-in girlfriend, etc. It’s just crazy.
Prayers would be greatly appreciated as I atttempt to negotiate the tangled mess of our marriage and try to figure out where to go from here. This married-but-not situation is taking its toll on everyone.
Despite all the turmoil, I’m actually doing pretty well these days. Even in the midst of it all, I can see a glimmer of hope. A bit of light in the future. It’s just finding the path through the present that’s so precarious right now.
Going to go take some headache medicine and lie down for awhile. Thanks everyone for all your kind thoughts, prayers and concern.
I wish I knew what to say, but I really don’t. So I will just pray for you. (((hugs)))
I have walked a path similar to yours with my dd. Even if you didn’t ask for it, didn’t want it, the death of a marriage is so very difficult. When you’re the one left with ALL the responsibility, you can become bitter. I don’t see that in your posts and you are to be commended for that. And- your kids love and respect you. I hope you had a great Mother’s Day.
Labberton sounds like a great speaker. What a perspective he must have from living and ministering where he does.
You are living a life you did not ask for and do not deserve. We do not know why God permits unfathomable things to happen, but I pray that you will see His full glory in all of this!
Congratulations on getting your license back! It’s amazing that you have managed so well without driving! Necessity is the mother of public transportation. Sorry–I know that was a terrible pun, but I couldn’t resist!
God is truly holding you and your children in His Hand. I cannot imagine watching the man you pledged to spend the rest of your life change into a total stranger. It is just surreal. I feel you have drawn closer to God through all of this. We will continue to hold you up in prayer as you walk through this strange and foreign territory.