One of the two people who fired me from that job at the church is now working at my school. It’s tough still living in the same community and regularly running into various folks around town (always bittersweet and I usually end up in tears for a good while afterward). Not quite sure how I’m going to handle seeing someone from there every time I go to the library. Especially one of the people I’m having the most difficult time forgiving for essentially turning me and my kids out on the street without ever listening to my side of the story.
Oh gosh. I just came back inside after sitting on the back deck crying for an hour … this is all getting very old. I really hate to cry like this. It’s so annoying … and exhausting. 
I think I’m going to close up shop here on the blog for awhile and just concentrate on school and living one day at a time. I can’t risk any further pain at this point … I have to have enough of me to go around for at least taking care of my home life and schoolwork … and right now, that’s almost more than I can handle.
Don’t worry about me … I’ll still be around … just gonna take a break from blogging until I feel “safe” and at least somewhat stronger again.
Love you all! I appreciate and covet your prayers more than you can ever know.
Just live your life well. A life well lived is the best revenge! Take care!
Betrayal is a beastly thing, especially in a church setting. I am remembering a writer who described the heavenly banquet as sitting between two people, one who had hurt him the most and one whom he had hurt most. That has helped me. Not prescribing, just sharing.
When I tried to forgive four people who hurt me in a similiar way, it was extremely difficult. Finally, I decided to forgive in word, even if not in heart, and to act as if I had forgiven. It took a long, long, LONG time, but eventually I found healing. I pray the same for you, except shorter time. LOL.
All blessings and wishes for rest.
I am sure it is difficult, but on the other hand dealing with this person while difficult now, will help you deal with it sooner. We don’t bury those feelings dead, we bury them alive. Smile at her/him, THEN go out and cry! Fake it until you make has always worked for me!
Debi, you will continue to be in my prayers. I am also in need of prayer…as of about a week ago, I realized that my marriage has to end (alcohol, pot use, and anger issues of my husband). I have been a homemaker for 20 years, and now my life will change radically as well.
Love,
Peggy
I think seeing this person pop up unexpectedly at a place you felt safe, opened up old wounds you thought were healed. I think you are doing a lot of necessary grieving with the crying. It just stinks that it doesn’t happen at a more convenient time or place.
Giving you a big cyber hug! Will be here when you are ready to blog again.
I’m relieved that you warned us about the blog break. Otherwise I’d have been really concerned! And maybe contacted the state police!
Prayers for you, Debi! Heal, know you are very loved by God and many of us out here, and REST!
To my first online friend: I will keep praying for you. Come back when you can.
You will continue to be in my prayers. You have been through so many difficult times. May you feel comfort and support throughout. Look forward to hearing from you again when you are feeling stronger!
Praying.
God will be with you as you travel theses difficult pathways. Take all the time you need while resting in the knowledge that we are still praying for you and your family!! Enjoy the little things as much as you can and just hang in there one day at a time!!
Take the time you need to help yourself and I will be thinking and praying for you while you are away. Take Care.
Having known betrayal combined with loss of job myself, I know how hurtful and draining it can be. It was 16 year ago and reading your post brought all the feelings back.
I don’t think you ever get over it. You just get more used to it as new memories take the place of old. And it takes a lot of time. LOTS and LOTS.
Hang in there. You are loved.
Praying for hope and healing to your hurting heart!