So I bravely stuck the tip of my toe into the water of being gut-wrenchingly open and transparent on this blog. And I have to say, I’m feeling way too vulnerable and afraid.
Knowing that my readers have no idea what has happened in my life over the past two+ years, leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings and judgments. But I’m not currently — if ever — ready to reveal what’s been happening. It’s too personal, too scary, and also involves people who I feel I don’t have the right to tell their stories publically for them.
Let’s just say I’ve lived through my worst nightmares and am still trying to find my way to a life worth living again.
As there are so few people still reading this blog (less than a handful from the blog stats), I’m just going to go back to privately journaling and regaining my sense of self and personal well-being.
I’d thought that perhaps sharing my own painful journey of healing might be beneficial to others. And I’ve heard from several folks that it has been helpful for them. But if sharing my successes and steps forward (and my failures and steps backward) bring me to a place of pain and fear again, then it’s probably not in my best interests at the moment to be that open. Perhaps later? Maybe. Perhaps not.
I may still share things from time to time here. Photos, poetry, funny stories. But the vulnerable sides of me will be kept for my personal journal.
Thanks for being there and being understanding. Sorry I’m being flaky about this blog, but part of the reason I started sharing a little bit again was to figure out if it was a good outlet for me or not. “Not” is the answer, I guess.